Well, well, well. Just when I thought I had seen it all. Along comes Book 22, the online sex toy and accessory shop for married Christians only. (Although I don’t think they check your ID…) Sure, it’s a bit exclusionary for my taste personally. But at least they’ve got the goods. And if you think the Christian nomenclature equals tame…think again. These folks are not messing around.
What can you expect to find there? Well, there’s the “Like a Virgin Kit” that includes, Ben-Wa Balls, Tightening Gel, a Tightening Guide, and a How-to Booklet. In case your lady gets loose or (horrors) was not “pure” from the get-go. There are a wealth of masturbation sleeves, including the Head Honcho inside of which are “three suction cavities, and as you stroke the Head Honcho up and down, it creates a pleasurable vacuum.”
They actually offer a variety of sleeves, some of which include interesting disclaimers like, “This product is helpful when a married couple is unable to normally have sexaul (sic) intercourse. Sold As A Novelty Item Only.” So, do you use it to help when you can’t have “normal” intercourse or is it just a gag gift? (No pun intended.)
Items designed to control premature ejaculation? Check. Condoms? Check. Dildos. Check. They’ve got lubes to make things glide, goo to make your naughty bits taste good, trampy lingerie, and plenty of things that go “bump” in the night. Batteries required. I love that they have the vibrators and masturbation sleeves listed under “Aids.” I think I might start calling them aids. Sounds like I have an assistant!
Under Special Order they have items like “The Sexy Velcro Kit.” I could not imagine what that meant. But just one click revealed that it contains a Soft Fuzzy Red Blind Fold, a Red Pleasure Feather, Red Fuzzy Velcro Wrist Ties with Tethers, and Red Fuzzy Velcro Ankle Ties with Tethers. S & M lite. Nice.
They also offer a cyberskin extender to enhance length and girth but which can also be used with a vibrator it says. Although it too includes the disclaimer, “For novelty purposes only.” Uh huh. Me thinks the site doeth protest too much…
As for accessories, you’ll find crotchless panties, remote controlled vibrating panties, and even a “Lover’s Thong” with “Sensual Pearl-Finish Stroker Beads.” You can also find a non-piercing nipple jewelry, and “Head Candy” that will “allow you to feel and administer pleasure like never before…Certified kosher with a delicious passionfruit (sic) flavor!” Kosher. Good to know!
And lest you be unsure how to use these items in a “Christian” way, fear not. Book 22 links visitors to “The Marriage Bed” for guidance. It also lists a number of other sites for reference, including Christian Nymphos. It takes all kinds, my friends.
Let me reiterate, I hate to see any group claim that sex is of their domain and their domain alone. But, all kidding aside, I know that buying sex toys can be a daunting task. If this type of venue makes it easier for some to make that leap, well, it’s a decent first step. Next step – playthings and orgasms for everyone regardless of marital status or sexual orientation! One day anyway.
In the meantime, no more excuses. For the unabashed, looking for product as well as info, there’s Good Vibrations. For a site known for being particularly women-friendly there’s Babeland. For those looking for something more racy, there’s Adult Sex Toys (www.adultsextoys.com). And now, for those looking for something with a Christian vibe (pun intended), there’s Book 22 . God Bless America!