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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

"Oh Wow!" and Discovering Your Ultimate Orgasm on #SexTalkTuesday

I am SO excited!

I’ll be moderating an exciting discussion about one of the most important aspect of human sexuality – your ultimate orgasm! SexTalkTuesday, the Adult Twitter Chat from, will be hosting the discussion live online and I sure hope you will join me and participate in the conversation.

My new book - "Oh Wow!" (Cleis Press 2015) is all about getting what you want, how you want it, and I want to talk to you all about it!

Previous moderators have included: Nina Hartley, Midori, Sara J Benicasas, Chanel Preston, Dr. Chauntelle Tibbals, Natalie Star and Desiree Burch. So you can imagine how honored I am to be the newest moderator in a long line of esteemed female hosts.

Sex Talk Tuesday has already done a great job at the forefront of the Sex Positive revolution online and their efforts have earned a massive audience among a loyal community of forward thinking people seeking a greater understanding of their own sexuality.

With more than 100 active participants during most discussions generating 1,000 tweets per hour and better than 7 Million impressions per hour, it’s my honor to be a part of setting an enlightening tone for their 800K tweetreach #SexTalkTuesday chat on November 4, 2014 at 3:00 Eastern.

I’m really looking forward to interacting with everyone able to attend online that day.​​

To participate just follow #SexTalkTuesday and add the hashtag to your tweets.​

Oral Fixation's "Train Wreck"!

This sounds like SO much fun! I will definitely be submitting a story soon. In the meantime, maybe I'l' see you at this "Train Wreck"!

The cast of “Go With the Flow” had barely taken their final bow when it was time for Dallas super-buzzy live storytelling series, Oral Fixation (An Obsession with True Life Tales), to cast the second show of Season 4. Things sure are moving fast around here — one might say they are moving faster than a speeding train. Which brings us to our November theme — “Train Wreck” — and our fabulous cast.  Headlining the show: the lovely Bri Crum, president and publicist at Plan B PR, and co-host and creator of Inside Entertainment TV on KTXD47. Bri will share with courage and vulnerability how shes navigated mental health obstacles to get to a place where she no longer feels like her life is a train wreck about to happen.

Joining her for two nights of fun: Glynn Wilcox, the rare witness to an actual train wreck, talking about his marriage ending and accidentally catching his house on fire. Paul Scott, an Oral Fixation veteran, recalling his second honeymoon at a couples’ resort that was a total disaster.
Caroline North discussing a train ride to visit her half-brother, a former meth addict, that forced to face her own addiction and make an important decision. Linda Thomas professing how her life became a train wreck after she moved to California and found herself pregnant, hungry, and hopeless. Nan Kirkpatrick outlining the web of lies that led her to realize she’s an alcoholic. And John Mathews sharing how his life of crime and addiction took him to prison four times before he turned things around with the help of the Dallas-based Prison Entrepreneurship Program (PEP).

These topics may seem heavy, but in the grand tradition of Oral Fixation, we promise you many laughs, too. So join us on Monday, November 3, at the Wyly, or Wednesday, November 12, at Texas Theatre. 8pm. Tickets are on sale now. Get them before this train leaves the station.

What is Oral Fixation, anyway? Check out this video of director and producer Nicole Stewart, explaining the show to the audience:

Oral Fixation is now accepting story submissions for all remaining Season 4 dates/ themes:
“Outside the Box”              Monday, December 8th & Wednesday, November 12th
“Slippery Slope”                 Monday, January 19th & Wednesday, January 21st 
“Two Peas in a Pod”           Monday, February 9th & & Wednesday, February 18th
“Writing on the Wall”          Monday, March 16th & Wednesday, March 18th 
“Happy Camper"                  Monday, April 20th & Wednesday, April 22nd
*No writing or performing experience is necessary but stories must be true and on theme.  For details and deadlines, visit  Follow us on Facebook and Twitter!

The Arts District show will be held on Monday 11/3 at Level 6 of the Wyly Theatre, 2400 Flora Street, Dallas, TX 75201.  Park underground in the Lexus Silver garage (accessible from Ross on Jack Evans St) or at a meter on Ross.  $25 individual tickets and flex subscriptions can be purchased at 2353 Flora Street, (214) 880-0202, or  Group and student discounts are available.


Ticket page for Texas Theatre 11/12:

Facebook page for Wyly show 11/3:

Facebook page for Texas Theatre show 11/12:

Twitter: @OrallyFixated
Instagram: @oralfixationshow

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Blue Box! What you call it when you leave a girl hanging...

(nope. not that kind of blue box...)

Today I was working on my new orgasm book for Cleis Press (due out in February 2015!) when my little sister helped me coin a new phrase - blue box. As in, "My partner had me all worked up and then came and it was game over, left me with total blue box."

Yup. You heard it here first. And, yes, girls get that too. Your partner in crime gets your motor running and then gets off him or herself and then rolls over and falls asleep leaving you with, you got it...

blue box.

You're welcome.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Sex and Night Diving: What I learned from diving in

It's pitch black. Martin interlaces his fingers with mine. I take a long deep breath and let it out slowly. My senses are heightened. I feel acutely aware of every sensation. Every sight and sound. Every feeling. I'm excited and scared and so present I can't imagine anything before this moment or after.

Martin isn't my lover and we're not having or even about to have sex. He's my dive instructor and he's taking me out on my first night dive. The whole arrangement is surreal. I flew from Brisbane, Australia to Hamilton Island, Australia in the Whitsundays.

An outfit called Cruise Whitsundays has taken me by boat out to a permanent pontoon on the Great Barrier Reef, at Hardy Reef to be exact, called Reef World where I've spent the day diving.

It's spectacular, as you would expect. Gorgeous fish, both enormous and minuscule. Unreal coral. Everything around me living and pulsing and swaying.

And tonight, I'll sleep in a swag (a very Australian rig that's a mattress, sleeping bag, and tent all in one) under the stars, all but alone on the top deck of the pontoon under a vast canopy of stars, the Milky Way winding through.

But before I rest, I go out on my first ever night dive. It's exhilarating and terrifying. I can see only what the light of my torch blazes on. The plankton in the water sparkles like stars, making it feel as if I'm floating through outer space, weightless and alone in the universe.

"We're three of the luckiest people in the world right now," Martin says to Victor, another instructor, and I as we prepare to get in the water. He couldn't be any more right. And as I glide through the water, catching glimpses of beautiful coral and fish playing in the reef, I am suddenly struck by just how profound experience this is.

It's incredibly dangerous in some ways. We're out in the middle of the ocean, at night. No boat or copter at the ready should there be an emergency. And yet, we're also incredibly safe. I'm PADI certified, meaning I am fully trained and prepared for this dive. My instructor and his colleague are insanely experienced and trained. All I have to do is the easiest - and the hardest - thing in the world. All I have to do is trust.

It's that realization that makes me think about how much night diving, or diving in general or any number of other adventures for that matter, requires precisely what is needed to experience the kind of truly intimate, mind altering, life affirming sex that too few people enjoy but that everyone should experience.

The five tips for great sex that I learned from night diving.

1. Trust your partner. Martin is my instructor. My life is in his hands and, to some extent, his in mine. There is no one else down there to rely on. I trust him completely. Only then can I really enjoy the experience.

When it comes to sex, when you trust your partner fully, you can let go in a profound way. The best sex, the fullest, most intimate, most mind-blowing sex comes from giving yourself over completely to the person you’re with.

2. Trust your equipment. Your dive equipment is literally your lifeline when you're diving. You check it completely before you get in. But once you're below the sea, you have to trust that it will do what it's designed to do, take care of you while you're below the surface.

Our bodies were made for pleasure. People have a bad habit of not fully enjoying all the bits and parts we've been given, not trusting that we have the right and the privilege of reveling in the amazingness of all of our "equipment."  But if you trust your body, it will take care of you and bring you great pleasure. All you have to do is give in to it.

3. Mind your breathing. If you gobble up air when you're diving, you have to come up way sooner than you would otherwise. If you hold your breath, you could damage your lungs and ears. Underwater, you have to breathe with intention, listening to your breathe sounds and being conscious not to hold your breath or hyperventilate.

Sex is all about breath. Focusing on your breathing can intensify orgasms greatly. Breath deeply and with intention. Play with how your body feels when you breath deeply versus more shallowly versus holding your breath all together. (Not recommended during sex and an absolute no-no when you dive.)

4. Be ever present. It's easy when you night dive to get lost in worry. Is there something scary around that next mountain of coral? Will you have enough air? But if you spend your time thinking about that, you'll miss it all. Instead, you have to be in the moment.

The same goes for sex. Forget about the mail you didn't open. To hell with any nagging body insecurities. Explore every sensation. Let yourself sense everything and take it all in.

5. Ride the unknown. This was my first night dive and my 8th dive ever. Everything about it was unknown. Even for Martin who had done this dive 1000 times, couldn't really know what we were in for. The sea is new every time you enter it. To truly enjoy it, you have the relish the unknown.

Each time you have sex it’s a brand new experience whether you're with a familiar partner or a brand new one. Whether you're trying something for the first time or enjoying the rhythm of familiarity, let the possibility of the unknown excite you and allow yourself to follow it wherever it takes you.

I came up from that dive exhausted and exhilarated and so proud of myself, allowing my sense of adventure instead of my penchant for fear and insecurity guide me. If you do the same when it comes to sex, you'll be amazed at the pleasure that's in store. All you have to do is dive in...

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Diving in Australia!

I recently went on an amazing trip to Australia to dive both the Great Barrier and the Ningaloo Reefs. I did a piece about the trip for Huffington Post.

People have been asking where I stayed and ate, what adventure outfits I used, and what I packed. So here's the rundown!

How to Get There-

Where to Stay-





Hamilton Island:

Where to Eat -



What to do:

Brisbane Greeters – This is a totally free service. You email them and tell them what you want to see and they do everything in their power to arrange a guide who can show you the town!
Rockingham Wild Adventures – They will pick you up in Perth and drive you to Rockingham for the Wild Dolphin Swim.
Story Bridge Adventure Climb – You can get info and your tickets here. Reservations required.
RiverLife – For kayaking, segwaying, rock climbing, and other Brisbane adventures
Gallery of Modern Art – For a little culture, when you need a break from all of the adventuring.
Cruise Whitsundays – This is where you can check out ReefWorld and the ReefSleep.
Ocean Eco Adventures – This outfit will take you out in search of Whale Sharks to swim with.
Ningaloo Whale Shark N Dive – For diving the Navy Pier or going on a Whale Shark Adventure.

What to bring:

Gear – As a woman, I’m a huge proponent of AquaLung’s Details line because it’s actually designed for women. I brought along my mask, snorkel, and fins. But left home my wet suit. Too hard to travel with. 

I also was very glad to have my SPIBelt for valuables. Although it’s not designed for underwater, it is waterproof. So it was awesome to wear to the diving (or other adventure) site with my ID, money, and phone inside and then throw in my bag when I’m diving. I used my SPIBelt messenger bag for city touring when I wanted a little more space.

Things to do – As a diver, there is lots of time spent in remote or technologically disconnected places, so I brought along my Outdoor Tech Turtle Shell 2.0 wireless speaker and my favorite Eccolo journal. It’s not waterproof. But a Ziploc bag did the trick.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Win tickets to Dinosaur Zoo Live!

Enter to Win a Family Four Pack to Erth's Dinosaur Zoo Live! At the Majestic Theater in Dallas on Saturday, January 18th at 10am ($200.00 Value!)

Erth’s DINOSAUR ZOO Live brings an awesome array of prehistoric creatures to life on stage.  Observe and interact with extraordinary, life-like dinosaurs in this entertaining and educational live show.

Enter by Tuesday, January 14, 2014 for your chance to bring the Family to this one-of-a-kind event!

To enter, like my page at:

And leave a comment under the contest announcement there. Get a friend to like the page and get an additional entry for each friend who likes it. Just send me a private message with their names!

Thursday, September 5, 2013

I commissioned a portrait of my puppy

I’ve always had a dog but I never considered myself a “dog person.” That is, until I met Walter. He’s 12 pounds of Chihuahua/Cairn Terrier mish mash that gives new meaning to the phrase “ugly cute.” I love him more than a person probably should love a dog. But there’s something about that tiny smirk and warm, fuzzy body that he curves into a comma against my side while I write, that makes me feel loved in a way that I’ve never experienced before or since.

Walter adopted me 4 years ago. So it wasn’t until very recently that I ever seriously considered the whole pet portrait thing. I liked the idea of it. But it also sort of freaked me out. Was I really “that girl”? Apparently, yes.

A friend posted a painting that Denise Kemp from Iridescent Moon Gallery had done of this handsome German Wire Haired Pointer and I was hooked. I commissioned two pieces, one watercolor and one acrylic. I love them both but the watercolor in particular really captures the spirit of my little man.

Maybe it’s the eyes or his quiet smile. Or the way she captured his disobedient fur, whose true nature is almost hidden by his haircut. Maybe it’s the way he’s laying down in the piece, face flat to the floor, like always. There’s something about Kemp’s eye for detail and the tenderness with which she guides her brush. I don’t know what the magic is. But I know she worked it on Walter.

The piece inspired my girlfriend so much that she commissioned one of her late and long-adored cat, Coco, and of her mother’s beloved puppies, Jackson and Pearle, who passed this year as well. The likenesses Kemp created are uncanny both in appearance and spirit.

I suppose there’s no fighting it now. I’m officially a dog person.

You can find Denise and her work at: